Ether Perel takes on tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.
In her twenty years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on?
In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.
While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel's take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the "X" back in sex.
Reviews
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Putting X-rated excitement back into domestic sex is the goal of this sophisticated essay by a New York psychotherapist. With its nuanced language and rare insights, the guide displays a rare understanding of relationship factors that can reduce sexual passion, such as imbalances of power, lack of honesty, manipulation, ambiguity of commitment, job stress, children, and cultural or class differences. With an appealing European accent, the author's speaking style is as urbane as her vantage point. She's not always the placid therapist--her pace increases and her voice becomes less controlled when she articulates ideas she feel especially passionate about. With insights that are more instinctive than calculated, this learning experience is often astounding. T.W. (c) AudioFile 2007, Portland, Maine
About the Author
Esther Perel is a couples and family therapist with a private practice in New York City. She is on the faculty of the International Trauma Studies program at Columbia University, is a member of the American Family Therapy Academy, and has appeared on many television programs, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Day New York, CBS This Morning, and HBO's Women Aloud. She lives in New York City with her husband and two children.
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